I read an article recently which spoke about what guys think after a break up, which got me thinking maybe guys would like to know what girls think after a break up. I mean, I guess its hard on both parties but I was surprised at the difference between the two. While the girl will mostly be misty eyed and sorrowful, a guy will be stoic and indifferent. Like they say, men are from Mars and women are from Venus!
What girls think after a break up
First off, it depends on who dumped whom, like duh! Let’s start with what happens when you dump her.
She will be mad at you for the first couple of days. She won’t believe that you could let an incredible woman like her slip away. She will miss you like crazy but avoid you like plague. She wants to make you suffer you see, she will hope that you will realize how much you need her and go back to her.
The disbelief and anger will soon turn to hurt and disappointment and she’ll remind herself of all the times that you’ve let her down. This is where the tears and girlfriends come into play. And a couple of guy friends. They will all be subjected to her reasons as to why the breakup was a good move. She may also hit the club and indulge in some mild flirtation just to check her desirability. She’ll hope that you’ll walk in and see her standing amidst all those boys and realize what you let go.
Eventually, she’ll stop looking at her phone every minute and slowly let go of everything you had together. If you want to be friends with this woman, you may approach her safely after this point. Only after she’s let go completely. But very few people can actually do that. If you can, hats off!
But if she’s the one who’s done the dumping, she’ll will feel extremely guilty. She’ll wonder whether she did the right thing. If her doubts or feelings are strong enough, she may even call you back and suggest that you should try once again.
If she does and if you say no, she’ll try to push it out of her mind that you rejected her and remember that she dumped you. She’ll remember all the things she did for you and all the things you never did for her. She’ll hope that you’ll come to your senses and dream up wild scenarios where you surprise her by coming by to her workplace or to her place and beg her forgiveness. When that doesn’t happen, she’ll cry herself to sleep every night till she feels healed. And then she’ll be done.
If she doesn’t, she really meant it when she said let break up. And most probably she’s already been through all the stages of breaking up. Its wisest to let this woman be. She was probably over you the minute she walked out that door.
What do guys think after a break up? Anybody?
Shannon Edwards
April 22, 2012
I really like and appreciate your blog post.Really thank you! Much obliged.
Wish
June 6, 2012
You knw i’m most dominant in my relationship. And recently I broke up wit my gf. So I lost interest on phone. I watch good movies which makes me go strong. But little pain is common:(
loveneedswork
June 7, 2012
Wish, breakups are hard. Give yourself time. Trust me, you’ll heal, we all do.. :)
parteek choudhary
September 16, 2012
boy enjoys a lot n after few days cries a lot and girl vice-versa…!!!
Simon
December 11, 2012
you know it’s bullshit that guys don’t give a f*** about a breakup, this girl who said that she was never my girlfriend who kissed me and *************, she keeps saying she was never my girlfriend and just wanted to have fun, you don’t know what a leo man is, she was a cancer, the woman’s woman, she just fucked me and dumped me, I still have not gotten over, not even close, it’s been almost 2 years, I take antidepressants, I might have even killed my superego, what super guilty, she tells me, there was absolutley nothing wrong with me, “it’s me, not you” and she initiated everything, what do you do after that? there is no justice, why can’t a woman say, o it was because of money, or just be true, I stayed longer in a foreign country, I offered to take care of her family, you don’t know what a Leo man is, he is a man’s man, romance is natural to him, I took up drugs, she told me she never wanted to have feelings for me, she said “it’s the emotional” it wasn’t a chick who was not wanting to get physical before a marriage, it was someone who wanted to get physical and have no emotions, what is this, is this normal, if this is, then f*** anybody who thinks like this, was she serious? I told her I would wait until the circumstances were right, etc but then she says “I can’t promise anything”, somebody tell me what’s up
loveneedswork
September 5, 2013
Clearly, she wasn’t into you. I know its terrible to hear that but sometimes its better to just accept that and move on.
All the best!
maniesh
May 6, 2013
It’s killing me , lose of concentration , mind flailed to think my current situation , heart always saying to commit suicide but mind thinking to kill and make her to feel what I feel , its like some think horrible , I don’t know what to do apart from forget her , I don’t know what to do even I am strong my eyes are wet
loveneedswork
August 30, 2013
Its not worth it. Life gets easier, take it from me.. Been there myself, trust me – it does get better! :)
Heart in two pieces
June 16, 2013
I recently got dumped by my girlfriend of about seven months. I was completely blindsided. Her reason was that she has one last year of school and that she wants to focus on school and be by herself. I’m still going through the stages of emotions – shock, anger, doubt, etc. In the back of my mind, I’m really hoping that she will rethink this decision and not act on sudden impulses. I say it is a sudden impulse because she broke up with me two days ago but two weeks ago she was talking about having children with me. We were totally lovie dovie two weeks ago and now she is breaking up with me. Any advise and opinion on how I should approach the situation? I’m not going to contact and beg her. As discussed in the article, I’m curious to whether the forum think that she’ll call back…
loveneedswork
August 30, 2013
Really hope she does. all the best!
oharmons2cents
June 19, 2013
This is a good one! The FIRST and ONLY thing a guy thinks after a breakup is “Oh shit, she can do whatever she wants now..” And that means, “Oh shit, he can do WHOMEVER she wants now.. When will it start?” We feel the way we feel about why blew broke up, it’s all about her availability to not consider me. And he (we) think about t 24/7.. Then 22 hours a day, then 20.. Lol. It’s tough. Great post!
loveneedswork
August 30, 2013
Thanks :)
dennis
July 18, 2013
She broke up with me because i was to old, we were 17yrs apart, we were together for 3 months and very sexualy active, she came over my place all the time and assured me everything was ok. She started nit pickin about “its the little things” she flipped the switch on me in 2days said we were not ment for eachother, how could she do this to me??? Its been a month now, i tried to get her back but now we are nc for 2 weeks, i miss her so much, will she ever come back, we never faught or bickered we were perfect together!!! Please help!
loveneedswork
August 30, 2013
Hey,
I’m sorry to tell you this, but it really sounds like she’s found someone else. It’s time to move on. :(
dennis
September 10, 2013
Well about 2 weeks ago I find out she did go out with someone else and it ended, I just told her one more thing and I hve not said anything, will she ever come back and think she made a mistake? We were perfect together, the last day in june we were together she said I was a keeper and wanted to be with me, how in the world 3 days later just walk away from me, I still think about her and want her back, It hurts everyday just to not talk to her or see her face, we know eachother for 6 months she was such a sweetheart.
loveneedswork
September 11, 2013
I know its hard to accept but everyone has their reasons for doing certain things. Maybe she had some things going on in her mind that you weren’t aware of. Its just been 3 months, give yourself some more time. You’ll be fine..
dennis
October 2, 2013
How can she be that cold toward me, its very direspectfull to ignor some one, I did nothing wrong!!
Jake
October 2, 2013
Ok today After 2 months my ex called said she whant end to have the talk after I meet her at her house we started to talk at first things sounded bad she thought that we couldn’t even be friends but I got her to say yes two friends after that and the 5 years she tryed to give the ring back I said it was still hers and that the ring dident mean what was on the ring did she went from distent two joy In her eys she let me hold her and even got to kiss her a few times on the ceek I still want her but were do I go from here iv opened the door to conversation how could I get her two fill the love agen I not only care for her and love her I want my gift from god back please any help would be great no guys around she’s been pretty much isolated work school then home I thank I might have a shot but don’t know we’re two start
dennis
October 28, 2013
It is now October 28th, and I still think about her, I saw her mom last week and I just dodged her and did not say hi, I really want to know whats going with my ex, is she ok how is she, I really dont know, I would like her back someday, Im not moving on without her. I would rather be single! I dont want my heart broken again!!!
Ridhwan
January 7, 2014
Same story as me but i manage to know it all along. Then she is furious and text me she said she can text anybody she wants. Make me sad until now.
Anonymous jr
August 9, 2013
A guy after a break up if they are the one who broke up with them they really don’t care about it yeah some times they feel guilty.
If there the one who got dumped some don’t care if they didn’t have any interest in them but there are the good guys also if they do have interest in them they will be sad and feel lonely for one week too two months maybe even three it all depends on how the relationship was and how they feel about it
Nick
August 28, 2013
Hee, I have a question about this. This girl broke up with me the day she returned from her 6 weeks trip in the summer. Of course I was sad about it, but I have a pretty strong mind (if I may say) and can accept things the way they are pretty fast. After that point I have not let my day be spoiled by depressed or sad feelings about this topic, after a couple weeks you could say I was over it. After that college started again, but now she seems to be mad with me for some reason (we go to the same college), even though I have done nothing wrong to insult her. What is she thinking?
I am just curious what her motive might be, since she is the one that broke up with me, and the reason for that was because she apparentely didn’t miss me on her trip away, so nothing scetchy or wrong from my side.
Any ideas?
loveneedswork
August 30, 2013
Well, there can be a couple of reasons for that. Maybe she’s upset that you got over it so quickly and didn’t mope around. I would suggest that you maintain your distance and only reconsider if she makes the first move.
On the other hand, its possible that she genuinely believes she’s made a mistake. If this is the case, again – wait for her to give you some kind of indication. Hope that helps!
Rahul
August 28, 2013
My gf leaved me but she loves me i know that but how she come back i wait or i leave her….
In all day and night in mr heart having a big pain what i do?????
loveneedswork
August 30, 2013
Hello,
If she’s left you, clearly she must have thought of something.I know its not the answer you want to hear but you should most probably move on.. Best of luck!
Rochario
September 2, 2013
I had to let my gf of 1 year go a few days back. it was all about her, she never contributed a dime to the relationship and then she started to get very, very manipulative. she said i had made the biggest mistake in my life dumping her, I thought I had seen the light and feel blessed to be out of that extractive relationship. Sure, a little pain is natural. But I feel liberated. Great article though. The proudest American
hope
September 6, 2013
She recently broke up with me cause she said we weren’t meant to be I said fine lets be friends but she doesnt want to be friends someone help me with this
loveneedswork
September 6, 2013
Hey, everybody needs their space to heal. And in some cases, the relationship is just too damaged to be put back together again. If this is your scene too, do the right thing and let it go.. All the best!
paul
September 12, 2013
she recently broke up with me. she broke up with me thru text. we were not living together, but whenever its my off i slept at her house. before i left their house she was lying on the couch hugging our puppy. i lied with them and hugged her and was kissing her cheek. i left and everything was ok. she informed me beforehand that she will be busy the wholeday. i went home and slept. after i woke up i received a text from her that she will be out for 5 days. since she will be busy doing paperwork for her bosses. i was texting her everyday. asking how her day was. she never replied. after 5 days i texted informing her that i was sick and wont be able to go to work. she texted back that i am not the only person who is sick and that i can take care of myself. she said to give her space, and not to bother her for the moment. we ended up breaking up. she said the reason was she can no longer tolerate my attitude. and i have a little clue about it, she was always asking me to show her effort. which i am in my way. we stopped texting for a while. later that night she texted me asking for me to understand her decision and that she knows that she hurt me. and that she wanted to be fair to me and herself. i informed her to that if she wants to be fair she has to talk to me in person. she replied angrily by texting if i cant undestand her that she does not have time at moment. but she will once its convenient for her. i was pissed and informed her not to contact me unless she is ready to talk to me in person. we were together for 13 months. her sister told me when i returned her things that she was asking for an advice from her father few days before she broke up with me
Jane
September 19, 2013
Quick question love needs work, I’m going to try my best to keep this short but I need your advice. Gf and I were together a yr and a half. Lived together for 5 months out of it, best 5 months of our lives. We decided to move across country together where she is from but she would go in March and I would follow in July (had obligations I couldn’t get out of). Best relationship both of us has ever had. Her mother died while we were together and that was really tough on her, her family cat of 22 years also was put to sleep, she was devastated. Families and friends loved us together. A month before I’m supposed to move she calls me and tells me I can’t move and this is all too much. I was completely blindsided because the day before and everyday since she would tell me how she loves me and can’t wait to start our lives together in her hometown. She’s a commitment phobe, hasn’t dealt with her mother’s death and she needs time and space. She Said I can’t be the only form of happiness in her life and I agreed with that. We had already bought a one way ticket for July so we decided I take a visit to see each other but not move. Things were amazing like how it always was but then we got into a huge fight because she stood me up for a friend in a crisis. I became upset and picked a huge fight and said some awful things that I feel terrible for saying. She broke up with me the next day. The worst breakup and heartbreak I’ve ever gone through. I went home a few days later but before I left things were really good again. Since I’ve been back she contacts me all the time and is constantly telling me how much she loves, misses and wishes I was there with her. I’ve stopped crying and have been doing really well and taking good care of myself. Last night she called me and we had an amazing conversation almost like how it used to be. She was blowing a lot of hot and cold prior to last night. I do miss her and love her very much but confused as to what all of this she is doing and saying is leading to?
loveneedswork
October 6, 2013
Relationships are complex. Its hard to figure out what the other person is thinking of. I think yours is one such case. While I can’t figure out what went wrong between you two but it looks like she’s trying to make amends. I would suggest you wait for her to ask you to get back with her, so that there is no miscommunication.
I know there is no way anyone can guarantee you a successful relationship, but you really should sort out this commitment issue of hers if you are going to give this relationship another chance. Hope things work out for you, all the best!
Jane
October 6, 2013
Thanks! I really appreciate you taking the time out to read and comment on my post :). Quick catch up. Now we’re back to talking every day like when we first started dating. I’m going to see her in November. Even tho things are great she said she’s not ready for the relationship yet. So we’re taking it day by day. Thanks again! Hope you have a great day :)
Jake
September 29, 2013
Iv recently been broke up with my true love I mean I going throw my day with a fake smile I love her so much but I hurt her and wish I could change the things iv done she means the world to me but it’s been a month in a half and iv tried doing what I shouldn’t have by telling her I love her so much trying two get a word out of her I wish I dident push when all I want is to be close two her she said she die sent want two talk because she doesent want to give me falsehope but I realy whant just to talk to know she’s ok and saff because that’s what I want for her I don’t have any pain or hurt towards her only love I miss her and hope she thanks of me In a good light not what I was and don’t want for my life I miss her and more then anything need her because that’s when I’m truly happy is beside her or holding my gift from god :-)
Surya
October 5, 2013
Recently i broke up with my gf… its some family issues going on there. dats why she broke up with me…we lovd each other for 6 months…
we did not contact for 2 months..i suffered alot in these months..paining, paining & paining only….
recently she called me.. nw we r chatting through phones…
is this says that she love me ?? Any tips to get her back.??
loveneedswork
October 11, 2013
Well, just because she had some family issues doesn’t mean she topped loving you. But honestly, before you even consider thinking about getting back together, figure out if the family scene is sorted out. If not, it might just end up being a repeat telecast..
anonymous
October 6, 2013
I dated this guy for 3 time..he wanted to kiss me but I asked why do u want to kiss me he told that he is normal and he went uncontrollable that’s why he wanted to kiss me. he indirectly show me that he wanted to have sex with me but never told about feelings or about our future.But on second date he again asked me for kiss saying that kiss is a good feeling n then he told than I am going now that’s why I want sweet memory. I didn’t know anything about his feelings I wanted him to initiate showing his feelings first. after two month he was moving to another country. He didn’t say anything about our future. I asked why should we kiss ? He told me we are chatting everyday andwatching movie together just like that we shoud kiss..last day he told me this is last day of our chatting..and then told me that dont go emotional. We shoud do whenever we want to do enjoy lif n keep memory. I asked whether he wanted to keep my memory only he told me ya good memory. When I told him that I will send u gn msg everyday he told me that dont be emotional.. He everytime told me that he respect me. he did show caring for me. But he never gave signal that he wanted to continue this in future.when I told him after leaving country that I like him he told me that we are just friends yar. I was depressed and confused bcz I gave him more preference than study and all . he wanted to start manytime dirty chat with me . But I diverted chat on another topic bcz I didn’t knw anything about his feeling. But I did show everytime my caring and love indirectly by my emotion towards him. but he didn’t care about my emotion.
I am very shy and I want to kiss only that boy who love me. Tell me whether he liked me or just wanted to have some fun before leaving country. What did he mean by sweet memory? Whether this was only one of his way to get kiss from me. ?
loveneedswork
October 6, 2013
I think you did a very smart thing by not giving in.. Seems like he just wanted to fool around a bit. You’ll find a hundred better people than him. All the best!
anonymous
October 6, 2013
Thanks ur advice help me to come out of confusn But why he was doing all for me ?just only for a single kiss? anyway thanks becz he wanted to have sex on first or second date before leaving country and I was confused bcz he was following all dating etiquette and I thought he told me that we are frnd bcz I didn’t kiss him. So I am feeling regret by not kissing him..thanks
Joey Sacca
October 16, 2013
Hello everyone
Here’s an unusual one for you. Long story short . I had a horrific break up to the point where I had a ppo put on me for a ridiculous reason…. The deputy said himself as he escorted me to my cell because I violated it. Yup, I went to church, she was there 20 mins before She Cried stalking and to the can I went
I was Not Stalking and have No interest at all
But why after 3 months , all of a sudden she has a few things to return to my attorneys office
I guess she cried like crazy at first when we broke up…. But this ??? Help !
loveneedswork
October 19, 2013
Hey.. Didn’t really understand what you meant.. :/ Sorry!
girlintheworld
October 18, 2013
this is exactly what happens with me after a break up.. damn. someone knows me very well.
donald a johnson
November 10, 2013
I lost my wife she is with an addict now having his baby since stop looking for her she has been looking for me but how do we talk when she has a fatherless child inside her…..
loveneedswork
January 10, 2014
Hey, if she’s the same woman you loved and got married to, I think you can probably try meeting her and seeing whether there is anything there. As far as the baby is concerned, I know it’ll be difficult to look past it, but remember the baby is innocent and try not to hate it
donald a johnson
November 10, 2013
We both messed up so it ended we just ordinary people.
David Pigford
November 21, 2013
We were together almost 6 yrs and though we had our rocky roads at times i just knew in my heart we’d always be together and i didn’t feel so i wouldn’t have proposed somethings were forgivable some weren’t we just spent the night with each other had relations 3 days ago next day i get a brake up via text we use to live together she thinks im lying when i say i love her she doesn’t care when i say i miss her she’s just all i have to do what’s good for me and i don’t want grow with you honestly i knew her long enough to know a piece of her hates me but i can feel and tell in her tone a piece of love and a piece of me is still in there people say do other things get over her that’s easier said than done i want my fiance back and will almost do anything to have her back…..plus she may be pregnant….idk
Mike
November 23, 2013
So basically absolute bull s**t at the end of the day there are a lot of idiots out the meaning blokes, but all and I mean all women have a twisted sense of reality about what really happens and what well actually happened! Women create a false sense of reality in there heads granted a lot worse than some! Even my own mother does this and she admits it and also admits that women do this!
Just to emphasise I’m mid thirties good shape very good money highly educated and well grounded, people come toe for advice and I’m not afraid to take it! I admit my faults which like any other human being are many! The fact is when it’s come to women the ones I have gone out with, the ones my friends have and are going out with, they see an entirely different world to reality! This varies on scale and you hope to get one that isn’t mid table or above. The fact is they will make up what you have said or meant in a conversation they will make up what you actually meant when you said or didn’t say something. They will fall out with you for absolutely f all! This when all you want is a to love care for and provide is well maddening! Really if there are any down to earth women left in this world who just want to get on I life and enjoy it… Nah there isn’t!
Bruce
January 15, 2014
True true
harish
December 16, 2013
i sclded my girl.so she brokeup with me n she propsed some other guy.bt i relised her.n i want her back in to my lyf.and dt guy and me are stdng in same tution..i waqnt her to b bck in my lyf
loveneedswork
January 9, 2014
Hey,
Give her space.. Let her pick who she wants to be with, you cannot enforce your emotions on others.
Miami
January 21, 2014
Girlfriend dumped me after 2 years together. Gave all kinds of reasons why. 2 months later she’s talking to someone else. Will she ever come back?
loveneedswork
May 30, 2014
Hey.. has she yet? If she hasn’t reached out to you for 6 months, chances are slim. But love is like that. It can fade away easily too.
Hope things have worked out for you. All the best!
Kelrantos
February 1, 2014
I can’t take a decision what to do further..i and my girlfriend really loved each other very deeply but wen she was caught loving at her home she told me we better breakup cuz her family is threatening her about me…it had now been 5 months but I still can’t take a desicion but now she ignores me and act as if she hates me…wat should I do??
loveneedswork
May 30, 2014
It depends actually. If she has decided to move on, respect that and leave her alone. For some people, family is everything. I know its tough but you can’t force someone to be with you.
Peter
February 13, 2014
I need help here. She broke up with me 2 months ago. We have been together for 5 years. I went through full break up process of denial, anger, crying and acceptance. I did nothing wrong. She gave several reasons like time out, not resonating any more, career priority and finally told that she was committed with another guy. After 1 week into breakup acceptance, she calls from nowhere. Initially she mentions that another guy was mentioned for separation only, then confirms the guy involvement and then confession that it was her mistake of wrong selection. I responded to call but remained neutral as I did not know what to do. She commented that looks like I have moved on. We talked one more time and then I opened my heart to her. She refused and started saying we cannot be together. Why she called after breakup? Was she expecting something specific from me? I stopped communication for couple of days. What’s going on here and what should I do?
loveneedswork
May 30, 2014
Sorry I’m replying so late!! I hope things have settled in by now and things make more sense. Sounds like she was just confused. I can’t really tell if she’s genuinely missing you or just the comfort factor of having you around. Do let me know if there are any updates and you need some help.
Cheers!
Carl smith
February 24, 2014
Hi ppl.I just want some advice my girlfriend acts all common in the house when she’s got her makeup off.She’s just like me I’m from the backcountry so you can imagine.But she spends 2 hours a day in the mirror putting her makeup on.And doing her hair.But the trouble is she acts all posh and like a lady when out in public.why is she different in and out it’s like she’s two different ppl.
loveneedswork
May 30, 2014
I don’t understand why this is a problem. Most girls dress up so that their man can notice them.. I think you should be happy that she still makes an effort to look nice for you :)
samii
April 9, 2014
She left me because i always neglected and restricted her. I have my reasons to do so, but she don’t believe. we were in relation for three years. we love each other a lot. she said she was baring me when we broke up. She still love me and don’t want to continue with me. I cant understand this situation. now she thinks she is free bird with no restrictions.
And me, am totally changed in positive manner. changed my behavior with every one. i can understand her feelings now. but, she dont believe me. all this happened a month ago and from that time i am going back of her like a lost puppy. please suggest n save me……. :(
loveneedswork
May 30, 2014
Probably all you can do is wait for a decent amount of time(maybe 2-3months) and then casually reach out to her. Don’t push her into being with you, that will just drive her away. Be casual, be cool, keep her guessing and see what happens.
All the best!
sami
April 9, 2014
She left me a month ago because i always neglected and restricted her. I have my reasons to do so, but she don’t believe. we were in relation for three years. we love each other a lot. she said she was baring me when we broke up. She still love me and don’t want to continue with me. I cant understand this situation. now she thinks she is free bird with no restrictions. i go back of her like a lost puppy now.
And me, am totally changed in positive manner. changed my behavior with every one. i can understand her feelings now. but, she don’t believe me right now.
dennis
August 4, 2014
Well its been 14 months and I still think about her, she has made no attempt to contact me, I have made myself better and healthy, I still think about her beautiful face, I had a girlfriend for about 4 months but we ended it on a positive, I would really like to contact my ex from last year but she blocked my phone # and facebook. I guess its to late, last I heard from a friend of a friend her boyfriend was cheating on her, not sure if they are together still. I dont know what to do. Should I try to contact her????