Sigh! Another one of those pieces I’m going to hate myself for writing. You see, even though everyone wants to be nice, every once in a while we get exposed to a side of ourselves that we absolutely despise. Sometimes, nice guys behave like dogs and nice girls behave like bitches. Hey! Such is life!
Of course, that doesn’t mean every time your ex is reaching out to you she’s being a bitch. But there may be a possibility that she is using you to get over some other heartbreak.
Why your ex girlfriend calls you:
I can only think of four possible reasons why any girl would do this.
She really wants to be friends: Well, then she’s a sweetheart. Sometimes, even after a relationship breaks there are still fragments that you can pick up and turn into a beautiful friendship. And honestly, if you were dating a remarkable person, having them in your life as a friend could only be a good thing. If she calls you once in a while and doesn’t rake up old feelings or issues, most probably she thinks you are worth having in her life. She really wants to be friends. If you have healed emotionally, I would advise you to take a shot at this friendship. Think about it, your ex knows all your vices and still thinks you are nice enough to be friends with. Feels good doesn’t it? :)
She’s still in love with you and wants to be with you: I don’t know what to advise you on this front. But if your issues were petty and you still love her, don’t let your ego get in the way. It’s very difficult to get someone you like to like you back. So if you have/had something special and those feelings still persist, give it a try. Most people assume that if it’s love, it’ll be a smooth ride and they’ll have no problems. They couldn’t be farther from the truth. This woman will call you often and there will be long pauses when she’s deciding how to gather the courage to tell you how she feels.
She’s confused and lonely and wants to be with you: This usually happens when the break up is recent. The sudden departure of a person is not only emotionally upsetting it leaves a void in our lives. When she doesn’t have friends to fill that void up, she’s going to reach for you. Be careful with this one. She doesn’t know what she wants, all she knows is she was happier with you. This is the time you both should take some time off to understand your feelings for each other.
She’s a bitch and she’s using you to feel better about herself: I have done this, I know its wrong, I know I hurt my ex who is still very fond of me but still I do it. Why? Sometimes, I’m so down in the dumps that I need someone who will tell me how wonderful I am. So if an ex is reaching out to you to tell you her problems, tell her to take a hike. You’re not her punching bag and she cannot keep coming back to you when things go sour. P.S – I don’t do this anymore.
Break ups are hard and how people deal with them is different. But the basic human nature never changes. I’m pretty sure guys are pretty much the same. I mean, what should I think when my ex boyfriend calls me? Should I immediately jump to the conclusion they are in love with me? No, right? I know its hard.. But in some cases.. Just let go.
Photograph via sxc.hu