I’m no expert, but I’ve had my share of relationships and I’ve learnt a few things along the way. I think they apply to both guys and girls. Something you’d care to add? Or disagree with? Let me know!
Coping with a break up:
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not worth it – What you are worth is defined by you and you alone. If your friends, family or colleagues are telling you won’t get better, ignore them. There are a zillion men out there, who would love to be loved the way you love.
Don’t harass your partner –I’ll admit, I’m guilty of this. But try, try not to do it. I felt silly, rejected and desperate as I tried to reach my almost broken off other half. Just made me realize that if his love was so flimsy that it couldn’t weather a storm, it wasn’t love at all.
Share the blame – There’s no point just blaming your partner. Accept your mistakes, it takes two people to start or end a relationship. If your partner’s not perfect, neither are you. Maybe your understanding of your issues will help you in your next relationship.
Don’t be afraid of saying something – If you hold back wondering how your partner will react, chances are, you’ll never know. Take a leap of faith and say it. Whatever it is, you’re probably going to feel better getting it out of your system.
Confide in trusted people – Respect what you and your partner had. Keep the trust that you both shared alive and don’t leak his secrets. Talks about your pain, but to close friends who you know don’t indulge in idle gossip.
Learn to let go – This is hard, I know but you know you have to do it. It’s okay to keep loving, sometimes you can’t change that, but it doesn’t need to define who you are. It can be a slow process or a quick one. Don’t feel guilty if you get over someone quickly. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them enough.
Alcohol and heartbreak don’t mix – It may seem like a good idea, but you have no control of your actions when you are drunk. Stay sober, you don’t want him to think he dated a lunatic do you? Years later, when you meet him, you’ll be able to look him in the eye and say hello, proud that even though you lost a relationship, you retained a friend.
Keep yourself busy – I know you are not made of steel, neither am I. I get lonely and wonder if I should reach out and try to make things better. Honestly, if you really cared about the person, it makes sense to try once. But if you’ve been shot down more than once, don’t look back. And most certainly not because you are feeling lonely and vulnerable. Hang out with friends, learn something new and of course, put up great pictures on facebook to let your ex know what he’s missing. 
Pamper yourself – Even though I wasn’t in a crummy relationship, like those really really bad ones that you hear about and hope that they never happen to you, I went ahead and spend a day in the spa. It was just something I needed to do to feel good about myself. So do something extravagant to show yourself that even if right now, you feel like nobody loves you, you will always be there for yourself.
Con your friends into doing things for you – I shameless admit, I really enjoyed doing this. I texted my friends saying I broke up. Almost immediately everyone texted in, with offers of buying me dinner to taking me to a movie and let me tell you. I’m making complete use of the offers. Don’t feel guilty, you are allowed to use your friends. But remember to return the favour.
Remember your feelings cannot be right or wrong – No one can tell you how to feel. And if you feel bad if your partner comments on your clothes or friends, no one can tell you it’s wrong. Trust your intuition and give yourself a chance. Different people are conditioned differently.
Love needs work – Of course we all dream for a story book romance, but it rarely is as easy as defeating an old witch and living happily ever after. It needs work, good solid work. So don’t run away at the signs of first problems. And don’t get conned into doing all the work yourself.
That’s that, I guess as years go on, I’ll learn more from life, hopefully in a less painful manner. Here’s hoping that 2012 is a little more uneventful that 2011 was
January 29th, 2012 → 3:21 pm
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February 2nd, 2012 → 1:37 pm
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